Out to win

Did you think that a relationship is all about love? Honey! You are wide off the mark. Partly it is about the right kind of love, hold your breath there is more to it than you would care to think. You know what — it is also all about the mushy technical knowhow, walking that thin edge that separates the sublime from the absurd, maintaining it, discarding the Romeo Juliet gushy affair and getting down to brass tacks. In short, it is about living with reality. 

No fool proof formula, no fast forward moves or a magical wand for bliss. Yet, since Adam and Eve, it is the most fantasized topic. Sugar and spice and all that is nice is how most starry eyed teenagers think it to be. If you are one of those starry eyed ones then you are in for a great disappointment.

A psychiatrist will tell you, unrealistic expectations can strain even the most loving relationships. YS zeros in on the six most lethal toxins and brings to you the survival skills for enduring love.

Fantasy No. 1

Happy twosomes are always hot on each other

Discard this notion as fast you can. Levels and modes of expressing love change with reality. Even if you two are physical, every relationship has a cycle as varying as the weather. As relationships face stress priorities and even hormones, go for a sixer. Find time to be together but do something different to break the routine. Go for a drive, take a walk  and see a movie.

Fantasy No.2

Tell each other 100 percent truth

Truth sometimes hurts. Few people are equipped to handle it. Also know your reason for opting for whole truth… Are you doing it to hurt the other person, to be one up psychologically or will it strengthen your relationship, if it is the above two then dump it. In the last, weigh the consequences of airing the facts. Selective honesty is sometimes a better way out. The idea should be to convey a truth and not to hurt.

Fantasy No.3

Fights lead to grudge free make ups

Forget bygones. Let the dead bury the dead. Forget long drawn battles. No point in making up if you are going to keep a balance list ready which you can recite even in your sleep.

Fantasy No.4

Love is not enough to change a person

If-you-love-me-change-for-me-crusades have wrought havoc with a good relationship. If you truly love your partner you will accept him or her  with all the shortcomings. Change-for-me happens only in fairy tales. Give your partner a chance, time and freedom to change at will. Harping on ‘change-or-else’ may not be the best thing to do if you want the twosome to last.

Fantasy No.5

People in love only eye each other

The green eyed monster can really damage your relationship like nothing else. Give each other space to live freely. Curfew rules are good for hostels not for people in love.

Fantasy No.6

People in love crave for coupledom

Spend time doing your own thing. For the zing to stay between the two of you, strike a right balance between liberty and intimacy. Cultivate independence in yourself and your partner. Round the clock vigil and breathing down each other’s back can head to a Splitsville.