Life is not 'virtual'

Abhishek Pandey

A 21-year-old girl studying in IIM-Bangalore committed suicide after she was dumped by her boy friend on Facebook. A 36-year-old man Benito Apolinar from Texas, assaulted his wife for failing to ‘Like’ a status update he posted to FB.

These are disturbing news item and show how dangerous social networking websites are. The websites were designed to bring people closer. And they have done so.

All of us access social networking websites for different  reasons. Some of us are connected with friends whom we never met after we left school or college. Many of us become more acquainted online with people we might have never grown close to offline. The status updates from friends tell us how they are doing in life.

We can get to know about their whereabouts; especially of those who change their job and city very often.
All things have two sides. So do social networking websites. If we are not careful, then our online conversation can have a detrimental effect on our real-life relations. The girl mentioned above committed suicide after seeing her boyfriend’s status update “'Feeling super cool today. Dumped my new exgirlfriend.
Happy Independence Day.” It became difficult for the girl to bear humiliation and disrespect shown to her by her boyfriend.

Many lawyers in developed countries have accepted that Facebook is affecting relationships. They say that when a boy starts chatting with a girl who was with him in school and becomes emotional, the conversation is bound to affect existing relationships.

I would like to share with you an experience of one of my friends.Arjun (name changed) updated his promotion on Facebook and his assignments with big companies. His jealous ex-boss did not like the update and removed him from his friend list.

A college graduate, Aditya Panda, says, “It is very common. Jealousy is a basic human trait. Friends get
jealous when you don’t invite them for a party and enjoy with others whom they don’t like and update pictures and videos online.

“The sites not only affect relationships between lovers but also affect friendships and other relationships if not dealt with carefully.”

Smriti Kaur, a college student, says, “The social networking websites prolong the period of getting over

someone. Whether you want to or not you can see happenings in their life through their status updates. One of my friends broke up with her boyfriend after six years of courtship.The boy decided to marry another girl.

“It was heartbreaking for her to see updates of her boyfriend’s wedding and honeymoon photos and other updates. It became miserable when she found that her ex-boyfriend had blocked her from accessing his profile.”

There are some remedies.When you do not want to converse with the people then these social networking websites provide you with numerous options. You can ‘un-friend’ the person or start ‘unfollowing’ him or her. You can also personalize your content by not allowing certain people to see your profile and updates. It will not only save you from unwanted trouble but also give you peace of mind online.

People should change their behaviour online. They should rethink their conduct to avoid harming people’s emotions or getting harmed. They must send personal messages when they are sensitive and can hurt someone, rather than posting them on walls as updates. Online users should reward friends with ‘like’ and comments when they like their status and should ignore when something obnoxious is posted because commenting anything will always stir up a war of words and hurt feelings and affect relations.

Be cautious online to be in peace offline.