Learn to be happy

Satisfaction defies precise definition. However, it implies enough quantity as well as quality. Enough is a dynamically relative term. What is enough for one may, and usually, not be enough for another. There is no uniformity or universality about ’enough’ or satisfaction.

 Moreover what is enough in a given situation or a set of circumstances may not be enough in another. The reception of satisfaction is like a mirage — a psychological illusion. The closer you get to it, the farther it moves or disappears altogether. It does not exist in absolute terms. It plays hide-and-seek with us. Sometimes it is there, sometimes not. It appears to be achievable and within reach but eludes us.

Frankly, no one (at least to the best of my knowledge and belief) has actually been able to achieve real satisfaction. We do achieve temporary or superficial satisfaction from things like a good meal, desired clothes or an object. However, we are never able to achieve sustained or lasting satisfaction, as it is short-lived, ephemeral and transient. If one were truly able to achieve it, it would be the much sought after nirvana — the purpose and achievement of life. After all, nirvana is the perceived ultimate in life.

It has been the dream of everyone from the sages of ancient days, emperors, people of outstanding distinction, philanthropists, socialites and ascetics to the modern-day common person. Everyone has tried to achieve it in his or her own way. Why is it not possible to obtain it? Well, a short answer to it is that it is related to the very core of human nature, which is insatiable, complicated, devious, selfish and unpredictable. Human nature being what it is, a person is never satisfied.

More often than not, satisfaction itself leads to dissatisfaction—that is, satisfaction leads to monotony. Also, one level of satisfaction inevitably leads to the next higher level of satisfaction, and levels of satisfaction are unending. If you do not have a bike, you want one. If you get a bike, you want a scooter, you want a car. You get a car, you want a better car. You get a better car, you want two, three and more cars.

Is it possible for a person to use two cars at the same time? Yet people acquire them in multiple numbers. A common person is a normal, average human being with needs, wants, desires, dreams and aspirations—needs and wants are what really create the most problems.

Need is a felt stage of deprivation. It is the discrepancy between the desired and the actual state. Needs are necessary for sustaining life. Need creates motive—the inner state that directs the individual towards the goal of satisfying need. Need moves an individual to take action to reduce the state of tension created by the lack of something necessary and useful to return to a state of equilibrium. Needs make the world go round. If there were no need for food, would anyone toil and work? Needs motivate people to take action towards goal-directed behaviour.

The goal, of course, is satisfaction. However, even before a need is partially satisfied, another need emerges, and another, and another which demand satisfaction. With the satisfaction of each need, the satisfaction level moves up.

For the ever-ascending levels of satisfaction, even the sky is not the limit. Remember, need depends upon existing possession and a satisfied need is no longer a motivator. Only unsatisfied needs can influence behaviour. Needs ‘need’ to be ‘satisfied’. Wants and desires, of course, mean greed.

Another way of looking at it is in terms of need-based and greed-based satisfaction. Needless to say, the former is easier to be achieved than the latter. As there is no end to needs and wants, there cannot be an end to the level of satisfaction. We can move towards it only by radically changing our perception of satisfaction. We need to understand the stark reality that human nature prevents us from being satisfied. We must consciously condition ourselves to tackle satisfaction achievement pragmatically.

We must stop being dissatisfied. We must learn to be satisfied with what we have rather than be dissatisfied about what we do not have. We must begin to see the brighter side of things. We must become optimists. We must consider ourselves fortunate and be thankful for having things others do not have rather than be jealous of and crib about what others have. Satisfaction is directly related to expectation. We must learn to curb and/or control our expectations. We must not create our expectations out of our flights of fantasy or over fertile-imagination.

We must endeavour to trim down our expectations to realistic levels. We must systematically educate ourselves to be satisfied. Once we learn to be satisfied with whatever we have, subsequent satisfaction achievements would be more gratifying and satisfying. Reaching satisfaction or not is, to a large extent, in our hands. Learn to do so and open the treasure-trove to satisfaction, happiness and bliss.