Platonic love: what a joke!

Does such a thing as ‘platonic love’ really exist or are we just deluding ourselves? Are we, by branding any relationship as ‘platonic’, trying to ease our conscience and denying our sexuality?

What started me to thinking on this rarely discussed and unchartered path was a talk with a young friend 18 years of age.

She has been friends with a neighbour of her’s, who happens to be five years older than her. Though he, at times, appears to be condescending and patronising yet he listens to her like no one has before.

She says that with him she can be her headstrong, rebellious self and not pretend to be all sugar and spice.

He can read her like a book and so can she; just seeing his expression, she knows if things are amiss. Despite being aggressive and sharp-tongued, she is able to soothe his tensions away by just rationally talking things over. It is as if they take turns in being irrational and rational yet they are so attuned to each other’s need that they can communicate their thoughts and feelings without words.

They share a beautiful relationship now, but she wonders how long it would last. People are pestering her parents, who, in turn, are questioning her about her friendship. She admits that she cares for her friend but is confused when asked if she loves him.

Why do we, as a society, need to ‘label’ relationships?  Why do we need to ‘legitimise’ it by saying our friend is like a ‘brother’ when we do not care for our brothers half as much as we care for the friend?

We  had put these questions to a Psychology lecturer in the university and she surprised us with her insight. She said that in our society, repression of sexual needs is a way of life. This system has been handed down from generation to generation without anybody questioning its validity.

So much so that the younger generation in order to adhere to socially acceptable behaviour, is subconsciously repressing its desires.

They seek an outlet by deluding themselves that they share a ‘platonic’ relationship with girls and vice versa. When they are questioned about it they are embarrassed and feel guilty as if caught red-handed committing a crime.

It is due to this reason that in spite of being mentally and psychologically mature, the Indian youth is not physically mature. They would rather ‘hide’ behind ‘morality’ than ‘seek’ and ‘accept’ the reality of their physical responses. Would we ever be able to muster the guts to be honest about our relationships? It remains to be seen.