Three points for success

Boris Becker, the former world tennis champion, was asked on a radio programme whether he had always been a champion.

His answer was “No.” However, he admitted that in his younger days he was always considered a future champion though there were other boys who had been better than him and more naturally gifted.

When the interviewer asked what had happened to all those better boys, Becker replied: “They just didn’t make it. For all their talent they didn’t have what it takes” meaning they did not know how to cash in on their talent.

The interviewer asked how Becker had done so.

“You’ve got to want desperately to succeed,” said Becker.

“Is that the secret?”

“Yes, but there’s another. One needs discipline. No matter how much talent you have, you’ve got to have the discipline to nurture and develop it. You’ve got to prioritise and give up a lot of things that can seem very attractive at the time.”

“Is that all?” asked the interviewer.

“There’s another,” said the former tennis ace, “and it’s harder and more demanding than the first two put together. You need humility, no matter how good you are. You need humility to listen to your coaches, to take advice, to test new possibilities, and to admit you don’t know everything. Feedback is the breakfast of champions. These three things are the secrets of my success.”

LEARN FROM OTHERS.

Are these fashion shows relevant?

Few Days ago, a columnist in a news paper described a fashion show as “fashionably unfashionable’ and a sad show. This leaves us pondering on the relevance of such fashion shows. What is most striking in these fashion shows is that they are more of cultural nights without a pinch of fashion.

The reason for this is quite obvious. First of all, for most of the organizers the programme is merely a money-making process. Thus, it ends up being another cultural evening with a fashion show crammed between other shows. The question is why is it then called a fashion show. It can be called a cultural night. Probably, due to the popularity of the word ‘fashion’, these cultural shows with little fashion involved, are termed ‘fashion shows’.

The words ‘fashion’ and ‘fashion shows’ are misunderstood. In fact, a fashion show is more of a display show for launching or promoting a brand for the industry, market, foreign buyers or prospective buyers. In all these cases, the people watching the show, at least, have knowledge of the field. Most of these organized shows are meant for a select class in metro cities. In smaller towns, a fashion show turns out to be a cultural evening where people hoot and whistle on any skin show.

Most interesting is the fact that the people organizing these shows are usually not professionals of the field. They do not even know the basics of the design and garment industry. They just randomly pick garments from sponsors like boutique owners. Most of the time the models are locally picked who may not have the right attitude and skills for ramp shows. Very little thought is given to fittings or ramp appeal through right draping of the garments. So, if the show becomes a cropper, it should not be a wonder.

Most people in India believe that what is shown in channels, is fashion. No, it is not that because the most innovative and craziest designers need to sell their garments. For that purpose, they will have to be practical. No business runs just for the show. A designer is not successful unless his work sells. So, the bizarre things are more of an attention-grabbing process. Unless he creates a head-turning impact on the ramp with something truly different, you will not remember his name.

 This is how the entire advertising industry works where they show the truth in a dramatic way to create an impact. Even Gianni Versace got a world notice for his safety pin dress at the Oscar night.

The garments of the real fashion show are different and impractical and just for advertisement or concept preparation. If you walk into the same designer’s showroom, you will probably find more practical and wearable stuff.

What is really needed is the correct exposure and knowledge of any field before venturing into it. Till then, we may have to witness more of such sad, slip–shoddy cultural nights in the name of fashion shows. 

Candles are steeped in history

We have recently seen a series of candlelight rallies in many parts of the country, seeking justice for the 23-year-old girl who was raped in a bus in Delhi and succumbed to the brutalities inflicted on her after 13 days. In Bhubaneswar too, many organisations staged candlelight rallies.

All these candle marches and the fervour of Christmas and New Year makes one wonder about candles. 

Candles are one of the earliest inventions of the ancient world. We have candlesticks from Egypt and Greece dating back to 3000 BC. As a source of illumination, candles were the successors of early rush- lights which consisted of pith (tissue in stems and branches of plants) of reeds soaked in household grease (soft melted fat of animals) and the candlefish.

In course of time, an improvement was made by the introduction of flax and cotton thread. These were dipped in animal fat and called ‘tallow candles’.  They were widely used in Europe in the Middle Ages and led to the establishment of guilds of travelling candlemakers who would go from house to house making candles. Until the middle of the 18^th century, tallow and beeswax were the only materials used in the manufacture of candles.

Remember the English poem ‘Night of the Scorpion’? The father put paraffin on the stung area to relieve the mother’s pain. Today, a bulk of the world’s candles is made with paraffin wax. There are now five methods of making candles—dipping, moulding, pouring, drawing and extrusion.

In the West, the church is one of the best customers of candles. Sales of candles rise steeply before any religious holidays like Easter or Christmas. The large candles are generally for church altars. In European countries, some candles are real works of art. Germans and Scandinavians are very partial to candles.

If one is invited to a meal or even coffee and cakes, then one or several colourful candles in decorative stands will be placed on the dining table and lighted to mark the occasion. Ornate candle stands and candles are also presented as gifts.

Not all the candles are lit. Anything costing over Rs.200 or so is kept in the home as an ornament. Scented candles are used to fight insomnia or to just make the room aromatic and induce the sensation of relaxation.

Technology changing our lives

Technology is changing our lives at a frantic pace. Every year new applications and gadgets are introduced to make life comfortable and hassle-free. It is a topic of endless debate that these technological advancements have really helped human beings or made them completely dependent.

The trend of online shopping saw a new height in 2012. Many new e-shopping marts selling shoes, books, t-shirts and digital music set-up shop. According to market reports, e-commerce is set to take off in the country and Indian e-retailing sales will touch the $1 billion mark in 2013. People are buying books, shoes, and garments and even grocery items online.

Technology is changing our lives not only in the way we shop or make payments but also in the way we live our life. People do not halt at the crossroads to find their way to a restaurant or a bank. Global Positioning System (GPS) in their vehicles or mobile phones can easily direct them.

The social media has changed the way we interact with people. People may not be together all the time but they can remain in touch with their friends and colleagues on Black Berry Messenger, Instant Messenger or on social networking sites.

One could not imagine of video chatting ten years ago. Now, one can do it over phone with reasonably good video and sound quality; the cost is not high. According to a report by the Telecom Regulatory Authority of India (TRAI), India has the second largest mobile phone user base and third largest Internet user base. The report says that the numbers of mobile and Internet users will increase when the government expands its network in rural areas. Mobile phones and tablets will overtake computers as the most common gadgets for surfing the Internet in the years to come. 

BUILD A BETTER YOU

As we begin the New Year, we look with hope and eager expectation to those who guide the destiny of the nation. At the same time let all of us remember that the effort of each individual can make or mar the concerted effort of the nation as a whole.

If you are one of those who believe that you are too insignificant to play a part in the nation’s progress, read with care what God told a young teenager who prayed earnestly for a better world:

“YOU should build a better world!” God said.

Teenager questioned: “How? The world is such a wondrous place; so complicated now; and I so small and useless am, there’s nothing I can do.”

But God, all-wise and kind, replied:

“Just build a better YOU!”

No matter your age, the advent of the new year is the occasion for new resolutions and new plans. But to the teenager and the young worker, entering the new year can be compared to a bird that has just been caged.

Because its vision is not obstructed by the bars of the cage, the bird imagines that its freedom of movement is not permanently obstructed—there is a way out, if only it can find the opening.

After a few attempts have failed, the bird grows despondent and in time gives up in despair.

EAGER ZEAL

In the same way, youth faces the new year. First, full of enthusiasm, with rosy dreams and ambitious schemes.

With eager zeal and fresh vigour they devour the articles that fill the special new year issues of magazines and say with firmness: “This year nothing will stop me from my goal.”

Then as the weeks go by, things begin to get tough, and their resolutions weaken. They hear their companions say, “It’s no use!” and see them give up one by one.

When the time comes, remember that with a little more trying success will be yours.

Why? Because you are not a bird in a cage. The cage you are in is of your own making—barriers raised by past failures, bars put in your way by parents who lack faith in your powers, or companions who try to stop you succeeding where they themselves have failed through sheer laziness.

YOU can fly above them for they don’t enclose you; they are only fences that force you to mount higher.

BASIC RESOLUTIONS

Stick to basic and practical resolutions. Start with Punctuality. This is easy and it will build your confidence when you find how helpful being punctual can be. Your companions admire you and your elders begin to depend on you.

Second, learn to fulfil your promises and don’t be in a hurry to make them. Many a promising young person becomes unpopular by promising too much.

Next, try to improve your handwriting and your spelling. Learn to listen with attention and ask questions rather than air your views on topics you know very little about. This way you will learn more and make many more friends. Resolve to read at least two good books a month.

At the recent book fairs in Bhubaneswar, it was good to see more young boys and girls going in for self improvement books. These teach how to live a fuller life gaining both profit and pleasure through positive thinking and prompt action. If you are one of those who have been dogged by failure in the past, take courage and start anew under expert direction this time. With the dawn of each new day, say with courage and with confidence: “Yesterday ended last night. Today is a brand new day!”

New Year’s Day – A historical perspective

Almost every culture possesses a notion of time. It is specifically significant to the rhythms of the community life and its people. Related to birth, marriage, death and the advent of harvesting, food gathering and hunting, seasons are linked with the cycle of nature that marks renewal.

Also, there are a series of ‘extraordinary times’, the most significantly widespread is the ‘first time’, which is celebrated in certain communities like the event of a boy becoming an adult. With it are linked certain noticeable events like that of killing a bird, fish or tortoise. Besides, in most cultures there is an absolute first time, for example, “the time of the creation of the cosmos” being the object of complex celebration.

The significance of the ‘first time’ is because the act performed happens to be new, fresh and invigorating. The inherent theme of the New Year is a recitation and remembrance of the creation of the cosmos on the anniversary to help strengthen the cosmos and the community as a whole.

Before setting down finally on the calendar, the first day of the years has undergone metamorphosis many a time. It makes interesting reading in history. In the Gregoriancalendar this day occurs 12 days earlier than in the Julian. The Greeks, until the 5^th century B. C., began their year with the winter solstice (December 21). The Egyptians, Persians and Phoenicians commenced it at the autumnal equinox (September 21). The Jews reckoned their civil year from first day of the month of Tishri (September 6‑October 5) but their ecclesiastical year begins at the spring equinox (March 21).March 25 was usually observed as New Year’s Day by most Christians in the early medieval days. 

However, in Anglo-Saxon England December 25 was New Year’s Day. William the Conqueror ordered in the 11^th century that the New Year should commence on January 1 but later, England began its years, with the rest of Christendom, on March, 25. The Gregorian calendar (1582) restored January 1 to its position as New Year Day. Other countries followed it up gradually, for instance, Scotland in 1660; Germany and Denmark about 1700, England 1752, Sweden in 1753 and the Soviet Union in 1918.

Celebration of New Year’s Day is one of the oldest and most universally accepted festivals of human civilization which has been in vogue for more than 5000 years. Scholars striving to discern and draw a common pattern to New Year scenarios have outlined it broadly as an act of purification can endeavour to clean society from its past.

With the attributes of modern culture making inroads in our life, this day has assumed significance and as a mark of reviewing and conceiving the passage of time, the triumph and omissions of the past and anticipating a bright future. Arrival of this special day is, thus, impatiently awaited for the ceremonies.

 It begins with New Year’s Eve, traditionally observed and celebrated with singing in churches. The midnight hour is the occasion to welcome New Year loudly with fire crackers exploding, merrymaking and dancing. In parties, arranged for the occasion people sing and rejoice.

 People with faith in astrology, look into the astrologer’s columns in newspapers and magazines to read their fortunes during the coming year. It is interesting to note that in the west some people observe the direction of the wind too, like this:

“If on New Year’s Eve night it blow south

That betokeneth warmth and growth;

If north, much cold and storms will be;

If east, the trees will bear much fruit;

If north-east, flee it man and brute”

These people believe that what ever happens at this prophetic hour is sure to influence the course of the coming year.

The day has gained a socio-cultural tint and celebrated with great gusto, greeting friends and relatives and exchanging pleasantries for a prosperous future.  

10 New Year Resolutions

Begin the New Year on a new note! Here are some resolutions for you! Add a little sunshine and plenty of smiles to people around you.

New Year is a time of fun and frolic to eat, drink and be merry. Don’t confine to the Epicurean life-style. Do enjoy yourself but don’t overindulge.

• Get in touch through handmade cards or the techno savvy e-mail with relatives and friends you can’t meet personally. Renew old bonds with long forgotten friends by sending New Year wishes to them.
• Dissolve differences which may have cropped up between you and your family members, friends and other relatives. Patch up and make up with people in your life. Life is too short to be wasted on grudges.
• Give up two weaknesses and faults you have been wanting to get rid of. Target atleast two tasks which you have been wanting to achieve for long time. It could be being punctual, avoiding procrastination or not delving in constant criticism.
• Resolve to devote at least fifteen minutes daily for your physical fitness. Not only ‘an apple a day’ but also some exercise everyday will help keep the doctor away!!
• Understand the value of time. Make a resolution to be methodical and systematic. Manage your time well so that you have some leisure for your hobbies.
• Take sweets, smiles and best wishes for the inmates of an old-age home. Spend some time with them.
• Call on the family of someone who was killed while doing his duty. Take some flowers as a token of your regard for them.
• Visit an orphanage. More than sweets give the children love and support. Being with them is bound to be a delightful experience for them and you.
• Join in the drive to eradicate illiteracy by enabling an illiterate to read and write in the coming year.
• If you are eligible, pledge to cast your vote in every election. This will strengthen democracy. 

Listen with care and learn well

Despite its centrality to professional success and personal fulfilment, listening is one of the most underrated aspects of effective communication. Dr. Ralph G. Nicols, who developed innovative classes on listening at the University of Minnesota, sheds light on our acquisition of poor listening skills: “It can be stated with practically no qualification that people in general do not know how to listen. They have ears that hear very well, but seldom have they acquired the necessary skills which would allow those ears to be used effectively for what is called listening”.

Although learning to be an effective listener is not an easy task, one can become a proficient listener by acquiring certain skills which go a long way to improve the quality of our listening.  Good listening involves mastering a cluster of skills, attending skills, following skills and reflecting skills. Attending is giving your physical attention to another person. Attending is non-verbal communication that indicates that you are paying careful attention to the person who is talking.

Attending skills include a posture of involvement, appropriate body motion, eye contact, and the creation of a non-distracting environment. Often we fail to comprehend what another person is saying because instead of ‘listening’ carefully we do most of the talking. Unfortunately, the average ‘listener’ interrupts and diverts the speaker by asking many questions or making many statements.

The ‘following’ skills that foster effective listening are ‘door openers’, ‘minimal encouragers’, ‘open questions’ and ‘attentive silence’. These skills enable the listener to keep the focus on the speaker’s communication.  A ‘door opener’ is a friendly invitation to talk. There are times when ‘door openers’ are not necessary. The speaker plunges right into his theme. Sometimes, however, you will sense that the other person wants to talk but needs encouragement.

At other times, the speaker will show the signs that he is unsure about continuing. A ‘door opener’ like this may help him proceed: “I am interested in hearing more about it”.

 ‘Minimal encouragers’ are words and phrases that aid the speaker to continue speaking. In the early stages of an interaction these words may be used more frequently to help the conversation gain momentum. The simple ‘mmhmm’ is probably the most frequently used of the minimal encouragers. That brief phrase can suggest “Please continue, I am listening and I understand”.

A skilled listener can communicate much empathy through voice and facial expressions even when only one or two words are said. To be a good listener one should also cultivate the art of questioning. But it should be kept in mind that questions should focus on the intent and concerns of the speaker instead of the listener’s orientation.

Another skill essential to good listening is the art of silent responsiveness. The silence of the listener gives the speaker time to think about what he is going to say and allows the speaker to proceed at his own pace.

Finally, the good listener responds reflectively to what the speaker is saying. Good listening involves the ability to respond reflectively. In a reflective response, the listener restates the feeling and/or  content of what the speaker has communicated and does so in a way that demonstrates understanding  and acceptance. There are four basic reflecting skills. Paraphrasing, reflecting feelings, reflecting meaning and summative reflections. Paraphrasing  focuses on the speaker’s content.

The reflection of feeling occurs when the listener concentrates on feeling words, infers feelings from the general content, ‘reads’ body language and asks, “How would I feel if I were doing and saying that?” And then mirrors the feeling back to the speaker. The combined reflection of feelings and the content is called the reflection of meaning.  Summative reflections are very condensed recaps of the most significant elements of a fairly long segment of conversation.

Clearly listening is not an innate talent or a God-given gift. Instead, it is a special skill that has to be acquired and can be honed through regular and systematic effort.

Learning the multiple skills listed above and integrating them into our day-to-day interactions will enhance our listening ability thereby leading to effective communication. 

WOMEN AND CAREERS-Empowering themselves

There are several factors why women today are seeking various professions; the initial one is that women themselves are emancipated and have left their predecessors far behind; numerous restrictions and taboos have been discarded for further evaluation; they are in the forefront and are able to compete with men in every field except those requiring manual labour. Women are shining in spheres requiring intelligence and are playing their part with merit and honour.

Education has brought enlightenment, application, competence; with a woman’s innate patience and perseverance, it has given her the fillip and skill to take up any profession and tackle any problems arising therein.

Education is one of the finest weapons we have; an educated woman makes a good wife and a mother, she can teach and educate her children to be responsible citizens, instilling in them all the finer qualities, which only education can give. A liberality of outlook and soundness of judgment are the assets to be derived from education.

Another contributing factor is the economic ‘crisis’ that faces everyone today. Women, in particular, have to battle against heavy odds on the domestic front and supplement the family budget. The increased cost of living and skyrocketing prices demand the pooling of resources and it is but fair for women to share a little of the burden, and help the main breadwinner. And with children, the demands are endless.

Besides, today’s generation is well-groomed and smartly turned out. Cosmetics are an essential feature of this ‘process’, and also a good range of apparel, with all the accessories which go with it. All this needs money. A woman gets a special thrill and the feeling of elation that cannot be matched when she can earn and spend!

All these demands can be met only with sufficient means, and so more and more women have taken to a vocation or a side-line that is remunerative and satisfying.

INNER URGE

Women are turning to professions because of a very important reason—a woman’s urge to ‘do something’. They do not wish to stagnate, to be left out of the fast-moving world of today. The world has shrunk with quick means of communication and travel. Women are restless with that inner urge, to put their minds to something. The average housewife of today is educated, her mind has opened out, often she is talented.

We come to the conclusion that women do not only work but need to work for reasons of earning a remuneration and keeping themselves busy.

The joy of thumri

Everyone is familiar with the song ‘Hamein tumse pyaar kitna…’ sung by Kishore Kumar in ‘Kudrat’ (1981), but few have heard the same song sung by Praveen Sultana in the same movie. This song is a wonderful example of ‘thumri’ style of singing.

‘Thumri’ is one of the genres of semi-classical Indian music. It is a combination of characteristics of classical and light music styles and has an identity of its own. It began in the royal courts of the nawabs of Lucknow in the 19th century and continues to resonate the world over. An example of thumari adapted to modern listeners is the theme song of ‘1920’ (2010), ‘vada tumse hai vada…’ that has touched the cords of many hearts. It is in classical form blended with a modern form.

Thumri lyrics, like ‘khayal’ and ‘dhrupad’ are taken from anecdotes and ‘leelas’ (episodes) connected with Krishna and Rama. The content is basically rooted in a rural ambience. The theme of thumri is generally love with its various manifestations like joy, satisfaction of meeting the beloved, complaint, doubt, jealousy, and anger at disloyalty, melancholy with the pangs of separation, optimistic with the hope of meeting him again and many many more.

‘Thumris’ are always based on ragas – specifically khamaj, desh, piloo, kaafi, jogiya, maand, pahadi, gara and shivranjani bhairavi. It is because the notes of these ragas and the emotions they arouse are suitable to express the mood of thumri.

Earlier, ‘thumris’ were mostly sung as accompaniments to Kathak dancing which presented the mood of the song visually. But the dance part is going out of fashion and the ‘bhavs’ (feelings) are expressed only vocally. Girija Devi and Shubha Mudgal are some of few singers who render ‘thumri’ with expertise and succeed in bringing out the latest and hidden emotions embedded in the lyrics.

Virtual World Live a ‘second life’

We live in a world where we have to follow certain social norms. It is fascinating if we get a chance to create a world of our imagination. There are a couple of websites that allow online users to create virtual worlds of their dreams with their online avatars. Users can control the activities of their online avatars, meet users like them and visit places created by others. Virtual Worlds are becoming increasingly popular among young online users.

Creating a virtual world is not difficult and one needs only a computer with an Internet connection. Registered users can create a virtual world of their own. They have to download the application and unleash their creativity and imagination in it.

Second Life is one of the most popular 3D platforms in which users meet real people in their online avatars and can travel to thousands of exciting places that are created by several online communities. One can design a personal 3D avatar and purchase designer clothes and fashion accessories for it from the virtual market places of the website.

IMVU offers 3-D avatar-based social networking websites where users can even furnish rooms and buy jewellery and gift boxes for their avatars and online friends. Online Users can even buy music and play in their virtual rooms to have a shared music experience with their online pals. The website features one of the largest user-generated virtual goods catalogues of more than ten million items.

Prices of virtual goods are comparatively low and most of the items cost less than $ 1 but these micro purchases add up. According to a US-based market research company, the market of virtual items is expected to grow from $ 1 billion (500 crore rupees) this year to $ 1.6 billion (800 crore rupees) next year.

Kaneva is a website that allows users to create their world and connect it with their friends on social networking websites. Habbo is a website where users can design hotel rooms and meet their friends in them. Users can adopt pets on Foopets.com and play with them. Users have to subscribe to premium services for Rs 250 a month to Rs 500 a month to take care of their pets. Activeworlds.com, smallworlds.com, meez.com, etc. are a few other popular websites which provide online users with a variety of online experiences in different ways.   

Flower power

Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,

Old times is still a flying.

And this same flower that smiles today,

Tomorrow will be dying.

O fairest flower, no sooner blown but blasted,

Soft silken primrose fading timelessly. (Robeert Herrick)

Flowers are an eternal source of joy and happiness. Their petals reflect the soft feeling of heart. They are Nature’s pouring for her beloved. The green leaves promise a support and togetherness with selfless motive, an ingredient for a happy life. The fragrance of flowers is a depiction of a natural way of making someone happy while remaining silent.

Of course, the king of flowers is the ‘rose’— a cupid-struck heart will embrace the red rose. A ‘yellow one’ would extend a hand of friendship to new friends while a ‘white one’ is a symbol of truce. In fact, every rose is God’s autograph.

He has inscribed his thoughts in these marvelous hieroglyphics which sense and science have, these many thousand years, been seeking to understand.

She’s somewhere in the sunlight strong

her tears are in the failing rain,

she calls me in the wind’s soft song

 and with the flowers she comes again.

‘Flowers are God’s thoughts of beauty taking form to gladden mortal gaze.’ God smiled and ha! We had flowers!! Flowers are the sweetest things that God ever made and forgot to put a soul into. What would be this world without flowers? It would be a face without a smile; a feast without a welcome.

‘It is a common to feel that to cultivate a garden of flowers is to walk with God’, says Bovee. Further, flowers are  also  associated with ‘moral qualities’. It is said  that bright colours are associated with glossy aspects of life, which may turn out to be poisonous ones  but the nectar of a flower stands for ‘goodness’ which every human ‘bee’ should try to collect.

Thus, flowers are living preachers as quoted by Horace ‘your voiceless lips, O, flowers are living preachers — each leaf a book’. Then comes the healing effect of flowers. A bouquet of roses and lilies speak of a get-well soon prayer to the ailing. It is the passion of flower that is the only thing left untouched by long sickness and its chilling influence.

Fair daffodils

we weep to see you haste away so soon

as yet the early rising sun

has not attained his noon.

According to English mythology, the Muse- Euterpe, the Goddess of music is sitting on a heap of flowers, a thing which is far better to enjoy than to attempt to understand. Flowers are so endearing to us that we get immense pleasure in calling our dear ones as flowers.

But these delicate stars also reveal the saddest thoughts that ever occurred to the human mind and it is reflected as:

One thing is certain and the rest is lies;

The flower that once has blown for ever dies.

Flowers  are ‘the stars  of the earth’, are they not? As soon as the summer cools off and the winter breeze begins  cajoling through this part of the world the natural tapestry comes alive with vivid colours. The landscape is splashed with the bright colours of dahlias, marigolds, sunflowers, roses and chrysanthemums.

There is a mythological story that LOVE once went to FLORA, the goddess of flowers, to take the BEST FLOWER from her garden. Flora offered him the red rose that encapsulates the fleeting passion of romance, the sensuousness of youth. But LOVE refused to take the rose and instead asked for the flower that could reflect the grace of a person too. For love needs purity and serenity for its consummation.

FLORA offered a white lily to LOVE but again, to her utter surprise, it too was not accepted by LOVE, saying that it lacked the exuberant feeling of love. After great thought, FLORA mixed the red colour, passion and fragrance of the rose with the grace, and upwardly gait and serenity of  the lily, and  formed the LOTUS, a perfect combination of rose and lily. From time immortal, the  lotus has been the symbol of Indian culture and ethos.

Saraswati, the goddess of knowledge, Vishnu and Lakshmi all adore the lotus, symbolizing ‘passion’ with purity.

No doubt, the instinct and universal taste of mankind selects flowers for expression of its finest sympathies, making them the most fitting symbols of those delicate sentiments for which language seems almost too gross a medium.

Yes, it is not surprising a fact that flowers talk louder than words. People show their love and care through garlands of various flowers.

Another wonder flower is ‘the rhododendron’ which is said to fill every heart with beautiful feelings. There is a legend associated with it.

Once, an old man of the valley sent his daughter to a nearby village at the spring to a young man with whom he wanted to marry his daughter but the girl refused. So next year again, the father sent her to the young boy’s village, which was surrounded by rhododendron trees in full bloom. The lively colour of those scarlet flowers touched the woman’s sensitive heart and she fell in love with the young man and agreed to marry him.

In the Kumaon and Garhwal regions, a festival of flowers called ‘Phool Sanskriti’ is celebrated on the Hindu new year day in the month of Chaitra. On that auspicious day children decorate the thresholds of all the houses in their village and worship them with rhododendron flower offerings.

In his famous novel, ‘Shesher Kobita’ (the last poem) Rabindranath Tagore wrote in their praise:-

‘Clusters of rhododendron flowers

 on upright branches

proudly disregard

‘the red colours of the morning clouds’.

‘Rhodonendron’ is a Greek word combining ‘Rhodos’ and  ‘dendron’ meaning  ‘rose’ and ‘tree’, or flowers like the roses  growing on trees.

This flower is very important as its extract is believed to have blood-purifying and cooling effects. A tonic made of these flowers is said to slow down the ageing process. A strong decoction of its leaves is helpful in curing rheumatism, gout and nervous sciatica.

Even ‘shurbuts’, ‘chutneys’ and ‘curries’  are prepared from these  sour flower petals. The red juice extracted after crushing its petals is used in folk painting.

Essential flower oils recommended for various skin problems:

Skincare (General): Lavender, rose, rosemary camphor, rosewood, geranium.

Acne: Tea tree, lavender, spike lavender, rose, geranium, grapefruit, sandalwood, mints, basil, rosewood.

Dry acne: Lavender, spike lavender.

Astringent: Grapefruit, yarrow, rosemary and lime distilled.

Cleansing: Sweet basil, juniper, lemon, lemongrass, peppermint.

Dry: Carrot seed, cedar wood, jasmine, lavender, orange, rose.

Pimples: Tea tree, lemon myrtle, German Chamomile, rosemary.

Black-heads: Coriander, peppermint, lemongrass.

Scars: Carrot seeds, lavender, petit grain.

Wrinkles: Carrot seeds, fennel, rose, lavender.

Flower oils that ease unpleasant emotions:

To ease:                            Try:

Aggression:              Juniper, lemon, marjoram, rosemary.

Anger:                       Chamomile, jasmine, rose, rosemary.

Anxiety:                    Chamomile, lavender, orange, sandalwood.

Disappointment:     Jasmine, orange, rose.

Fear:                          Fennel, ginger, sandalwood.

Jealousy:                  Jasmine, rose.

Loneliness:             Benzoin, marjoram.

Fatigue:                   Basil, coriander, ginger, jasmine, juniper, orange, peppermint, rosemary.

Nervousness:         Coriander, orange.

‘E-invite’ guests with an ease

Planning an event is not an easy task. It involves a lot of work such as ordering food, decorating the venue and of course, inviting guests. If you are hosting a family event such as a wedding or a birthday bash, inviting guests is not that difficult but if it is a corporate event in which thousands of people are expected to attend, informing people about the event and inviting them becomes the toughest task. Some websites come to the rescue of event planners and managers. There are many free websites which school and college students can use to plan events in their institutes.

Users can create events and invite people and let them respond whether they are attending or not on the customised web pages of the events. And these pages can be created on websites like eventbrite.com, Ettend and Spalshthat.

Eventbrite.com provides users with many online tools to bring people together for an event. Users can create customised web pages for their events using their logos and images and add the who, what, when, where and why details. People can register and buy tickets online from the webpage and event managers can create and send bar-coded tickets using these tools.

When users visit this website then it automatically locates them through the IP addresses of their computers and tell them about events taking place in their respective cities. The website is popular in the United States of America (USA) but users can register their events for free from any part of the world. 

Using the Facebook app of the website, users can know which of their Facebook friends are going to attend a particular event. Eventbrite mobile applications allow event managers to know who is coming, print guests list and validate bar-coded tickets. Attendees too can access information using these apps. 

Splashthat users can track RSVPs of their guests and upload photos on the customised web page of the event. According to the website, its tools allow event planners to plan, budget, schedule, brainstorm, share files with team members, and more. Ben Hindman, the creator of event planning start up, says, “I discovered something peculiar about successful events: They never die. As an event planner, you have two equally crucial jobs: generate excitement leading-up to the big day and capture memories from the event that will live on forever.” The premium features of the website are priced and event planners can subscribe to all the features for Rs. 1200 a month.

Ettend.com provides similar features for free but if tickets for the events are priced then it charges a flat fee of Rs. 50 per ticket booked on the site. Other websites that can be useful for event planners are easyeventplanning, myevent, bedouk, etc.

What girls hate about boys

• Cannot hold his drink.
• Grouchy with compliments.
• Fights to show his strength.
• Show offs.
• Loud mouths/ eternal braggarts.
• A smoking geek.
• Two timing.
• Unmoved by sensitive movies.
• Has no respect for the opposite gender.
• Considers friendship with a girl as just another feather in his cap.

Fashion notes for every woman

Available today are scores of fashion magazines, both foreign and local, containing suggestions, illustrations and advice on how to be well dressed. As a result, it is heartening to find that a large percentage of women do spend time with their appearance and manage to achieve results that are eminently satisfactory. Colourful, gay and smart, they grace any occasion and are indeed a delight to behold.

However, there are other women who still find the business of getting an ensemble together difficult or nerve-racking, and who would, therefore, welcome a few practical hints.

With the vast assortment of fabrics—silk, cotton, wool and  man-made textiles—to choose from, and priced to suit every purse, there is no reason why good dressing and good grooming can not be achieved by each one of us.

No longer need the working girl envy her more fortunate and wealthy sister, for with sound commonsense, an eye for detail, and a little guidance, she too can be chic, confident and poised— secure in the knowledge that she is not a whit less attractive.

Though good taste and the ability to dress well is inherent in some—like a talent for painting or music-nevertheless those minus this gift can cultivate it and thus overcome any errors of judgement they might otherwise commit.

Despite the fact that America and England too are now going in for high couture and have their own fashion designers, yet France remains the leader in this particular field—with Paris as its hub.

In the West, exquisite and expensive custom-made clothes are the prerogative of the wealthy. We orientals have the advantage over them in being able to order ‘the tailor round the corner’ or one’s favourite ‘darzee’ to ‘run up’ an elegant dress or a cute choli in no time at all and at very little cost! The really good ones are surprisingly able and proud of their fine workmanship—seen in the beautiful finish given to the garments they make. And they are competent and will produce for you an exact replica of a Paris gown or a Chinese dress—in fact, just, about anything!

There are many who believe that a woman should fit herself to the prevailing mode and thus always be in fashion. This theory is fundamentally wrong, for certain styles are extreme, and look well only on the willowy mannequin—with the ideal figure for modelling and showing off clothes to advantage. Unfortunately, most of us do not fall in this envied category. So, the best thing we can do is to study ourselves and dress accordingly, instead of following the dictates of fashion blindly.

One can allow the general trend while modifying or eliminating unsuitable features so that what one wears is becoming to one’s own particular self. Thus, the world of fashion has finally arrived at the decision that the woman is more important than the dress she wears!

Pierre Balmain, French expert on women’s clothes was iodized by the elite of Europe for his magnificent ‘creations’. His ideas on points which we should remember if we are to appear elegant and attractive, are excellent guides to good dressing. We pass them on to you:

He says, ‘Fashion does not seek to change the woman. It is the changing woman and the clothes she requires for her mode of life that causes fashion to alter.’

Therefore, let your activities rather than your age govern the choice of clothes you buy.

But here too he feels that discretion and good taste are essential, as that which is suitable for a young, lithe teenager would hardly do for an elderly woman even though she is slimmer and spry.

First create the basic colour scheme of an outfit, and then introduce touches of colour to break the monotony and lend drama. ‘The more colours you put together, the more knowledge you need to do it successfully’, says Balmain.

The woman with a limited amount of money to spend on a wardrobe should go in for a few super ensembles—plain but smart. Ring the changes with a variety of interesting accessories.

The combination of colours in dress and choice of accessories is a fair indication of a woman’s personality, for they reflect her taste.

‘A small piece of real jewellery of good quality is better than a large piece of inferior quality’ insists Pierre. He also suggests that costume jewellery when used should be large and lavish.

Then, as a final word on the subject of fashion, Balmain admonishes that ‘a woman should never relinquish any of her weapons’ if she is to appear utterly feminine and desirable! This, I agree, is especially important as women today work side by side with men in business, profession or career, and it would be dull and tiresome if both sexes wore pants and swaggered around with a masculine air!